i was officially hired by someone. Thursday i begin working at New York and Co. doing the "holiday help" thing. It's part time. IF i'm a rock star, I might get 20 hours. Otherwise, i'm looking at 0-15. Part of me is looking forward to it. It's SOMETHING. it's anything apart from doing nothing all day long. And maybe it will be fun. However, it doesn't even come close to meeting the financial obligations i have.
I had another interview at Bath and Body Works today. In said interview, the manager said it was again "holiday help" and that we could expect 3 to 5 hours a week. WHAT?!?! i'm trying to make a living! at this rate i'm going to need not two jobs, but 10!
I suppose when all is said and done. tommy will have two jobs. He worked 57 hours last week. Which is a blessing and, of course, a curse. We need the work. We need the money. But he's so tired and we get very few precious hours together. And I will have one retail job and hopefully a second job of some sorts. We have the one car. and minimal bills. and yet. we will work long hard hours. for little pay. not seeing each other much. juggling schedules. and i really find myself feeling depressed and wondering what is the point?
why do we do all of this? how did we get here? and who did i piss off so i could gravel at their feet to fix it? it just seems so very meaningless. and i know i'm not the only one in this place. but i wish i had an answer. i feel like my life got hit by a 2 x 4 back to negative square one, and i didn't see it coming and i just don't understand. and i don't know the point.
Time to go pick up my big ole bear ;)
*I know i spelt that wrong. but you get the point.
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