HEY mambo... Mambo Italiano...

tonight was italian night. mom gave us a bit of money to do some grocery shopping on since she doesn't actually eat REAL food (a story all unto itself). And so tom and i very carefully planned out the perfect little meals, the goal being to cook three good meals a week and survive off of leftovers the remaining time. and tonight was "Italiano".

now tom is a quarter italian. he has also been extremely poor the entire time i've known him. and this being said, i have had his spegetti and meatballs before. it's tasty. it's traditional. he does it well. and most important... it's cheap. so tonight Tom decided and psyched himself all up to make his dish. and not just make it but MAKE it to impress the family. Tom loves to cook... it's true. anyone who knows him knows this. but more than just cooking tom loves to impress someone with his cooking. and so this gave him the perfect opportunity to do such and boy did he freaking knock it out of the park.

the sauce was amazing. huge cloves of garlic and onion... you could literally distinguish each ingredient as an individual and as a whole. each bit having a dominant part and yet each sharing to produce something bigger than itself. and the meatballs. amazing. big huge giant meatballs with such yummy flavor. the noodles were perfect and it came together ("come together right now"). i know some of you either make a mean spegetti or know someone who does and i have had some of these, but i assure you.. your spegetti would bow to what i partook tonight.

it was one of those meals that i imagined tasted like the scene from Chocolate where Juliette Binoche's character makes the birthday meal for Judi Dench's character and all the characters are falling over the food. it seems incredibly sensual as they eat and like they are about to keel over from how intense the flavors are in their mouths. or the scene from Big Night where everyone has eaten and is dancing around with joy and happy from the amazing 10 course meal they had.

it was one of those meals.

to make the evening even more amazing was my sister. erin has not been known for parting from her bed often, but the more we are here the more we create reason for her to want to get out of bed. and she's been great... joining us whenever she feels up to it. tonight though was different. tonight she joined us even though she was in intense pain. tom gave her the 15 minute warning before the meal was to be ready and 5 minutes later out rolls erin quietly to the couch. i noticed that she lay in her spot (when she's not in bed) and was particularly quiet and pained looking. a few minutes later tears were running down her face as her pain level was quite high. but she stayed out with us. she took some pills (some really good pills) and choose to eat dinner with us. since she wasn't up to sitting at the table... we brought the table to her at the couch and the three of us had this amazing little meal. erin complained it was too spicy but i think that was just to keep up the roll of not being completely happy with something ;)

earlier in the evening, tom had mentioned the idea of what we might do for dessert. we had run down the options - normal ice cream or maybe baking chocolate chip cookies or maybe... just maybe we could drive up to that little gelato shop we saw this weekend and get official italian ice cream to top the meal off just right. erin shoo-ed the idea, but god love tom he brought up again as we ate. erin's meds were kicking in and as she ate she began to really perk up. we finished our heavenly meal and were letting it digest a bit when good old tom put the idea out there one more time... and she bit. of course, we had to go just as we were (i was in my p.js.) and she wasn't getting out of the car. but it was a deal. so we loaded up the car (a slightly time consuming process) and drove up two exits to get some gelato. so worth it.

the sweets were definately good. but the memory of the night and the laughs and the classic dean martin playing in the background... that was priceless.

rest? or procrastination?

so i am attempting to write daily. or maybe close to it. just to be closer to those that are actually far away.

today was kind of a wash day. in fact, lots of the days feel that way. but if we applied for jobs then i think i've done what i am suppose to do. but of course, i usually feel pretty down at the end of that. because job hunting just isn't what it used to be back in the day. back in the day, you had your resume in hand and you physically went in and shook someones hand, you introduced yourself, and they could decide without a personality test that you would or would not be a good fit for their company. But now in the age of technoloy and de-personalization job hunting is now you and your computer and the only thing a potential employeer sees is a piece of paper that represents you. or is at least suppose to represent you. and so many people lie this day and age. or try to make themselves look better than what they are. and so my resume, honest to a freaking crossed 't' looks, i'm sure, no different then joe shmo (not to be confused with the overly talked about joe the plumber) down the street. i'm sure i get thrown in the pile of all the rest. and my friends i am just not an "all the rest" kind of worker. i am good damn it. but when you are treated like you don't matter. you kinda start to feel that way. and so job hunting isn't what it used to be. and at the end of applying for every job posted on craigslist, careerbuilder, monster, the atlanta journal of constitution which uses Yahoo! Hot Jobs and then simplyhired on a daily basis and not getting a single response day after day after day... today i didn't.

i meant to. i had every intention to. but i got up. cleaned the kitchen. got erin her meds. dyed my hair (nothing special). ate some lunch. watched a movie with erin in which i was so sleepy i fell asleep adn then woke up, helped make dinner, cleaned the kitchen, folded some laundry, ran the vaccum and then walked to get the mail. and the day is gone. i feel guilty i didn't job hunt today. okay i applied for one job. but not the usual regiment. and yet i also feel rested. and not depressed about the non-responses i'm getting. just guilty. if i could only shake that guilt. :)

anywho, my mom did make a call and ask if i would at the very least be interviewed for the job at DeVry. She was told i was already on the list. They are only interviewing 5 people. and i know that there is also an internal person interested in the position. My mom says it's up to me to get it. She can only get me an interview. so they are suppose to be calling for personality tests and an interview. We shall see.

on the other hand, i got a call from a company wanting to know if i would relocate to Dallas, TX for a job. *sigh* i JUST did that. ... if only i had the job. ;)

but alas, Grey's Anatomy is on in 18 minutes and the world will be right for an hour before i must return to reality.

Tricks and Treats

we carved pumpkins. tom and i bought pumpkins on friday with the hopes of carving them. to get erin up and out of bed and to do something fun and bonding. i don't ever remember carving pumpkins as a family in my life. my mom swears we did it once, but i don't remember. it's not that my mom or family wasn't festive or that we didn't like to bond. it's just that usually there wasn't money for things like pumpkins and then if there might have been a few extra bucks, my mom just didn't have the time. she was the mom and the dad in our family. when she wasn't working or doing housework or yard work or when my sister got sick - taking care of her... she was usually collapsed in a chair resting or taking a nap. my mom's signature position at any family holiday get together is almost always asleep on the couch. becuase it's the only time the lady stops moving and sleep is pretty much instantaneous.

so we didn't carve pumpkins or dye easter eggs. we usually bonded around t.v. shows because that didn't actually take physical energy or creative energy. my mom used to watch the X-files. that was our big show... so were M*A*S*H re-runs and star-trek. erin didn't dig any of our shows, but two against one... hee hee.

but last night, we carved pumpkins. erin had a reason to get out of bed. mom could obesse about how to light a pumpkin without using a candle, i could get my craft on and carve and tom could do what he does... take it all in (and make amazing pumpkin seeds). it was a good time. we talked and teased and carved. it was a good time and i really like my pumpkin. it makes me happy. tom's pumpkin makes me extremely happy too. i think some of the happiest people in the world are those with downsyndrome. i love the way they can capture love and life and happy in a smile. and tom's pumpkin... it is soo the downs pumpkin. it makes me happy. extremely happy. and it makes me think of beautiful gweny. which again... makes me super happy.

we're here

so i just realized that it's been almost a month since my last post. good grief... time has been flying past. wow. i'm a little stunned.

anywho. we are in atlanta. the past several weeks has been an amazing push and whirlwind of trying to get two apartments packed, interview for jobs 800 miles away, cut off services, change address', say goodbyes, make time for friends, fullfill commitments and load a 26 foot uhaul truck with everything the two of us own. it was three weeks of so much. so much i can't even begin to tell you.

and then we drove. a trip that usually can be done in 12 hours - one day. took two days and like 18 hours in the massive truck. we did the math.... i'm not even sure how it took so long. but it did. and it was exhausting. being giggled round and round up and down on that bloody thing after days of packing and lifting only made sore muscles... oh so much more so.

and then we got here. and nothing. we unpacked the truck in a big ole storage unit and spent the next couple days sleeping and trying recouperate while making some phone calls, mailing out some paperwork and other mundane businessy crap. but all in all it felt pretty darn anti-clamatic. it was like going 100 miles an hour for so long and then we just hit a wall. the wall was our goal: get to atlanta. and then we were faced with the mundaneness of life. life that travels at more like 35 mph. here we are. in atlanta. now what?

so we scooped out a church. a nice episcopalian number. we had plans to go on sunday. we even made a trial run to the spot to make sure we knew where it was and how long it would take in the morning to get there. and then, sunday morning was attack of my tummy. bad stuff kids. so we missed out on the new thing. and i slept all day. aaaalll day.

and now we apply to jobs. it's kinda of depressing in all honesty. when tom came down to visit and we were making the decision to move or not to move, we checked the job market out. and the market was good. and a month later. after hours and hours of coverage on how crappy the economy is.... the job market in atlanta is catching up with the rest of country. and so. it's depressing. we try and hit all the job sites and all the new posts every morning and then spend the afternoon doing something fun. one night we went out on a date, and last night we carved pumpkins. today we uploaded photos and tried to get the posting on all the sites together. and thus...this post :D

the honest to god truth is, this would be the most miserable time of my life if it weren't that my best friend is here with me. to talk about stuff. important stuff not important stuff. to laugh at the goofiness and naturally retarded ways of life and to be my strength. to make me a cup of tea or cup of coffee and smile or make fun of me. he is my oasis in this soul desert. and i can't tell you how thankful i am for him in my life enough.