a 'weekend' update

ah yes. the blog. so it seems that i am a "bad blogger". oh well. i am accepting it as part of me. i've had it on my 'to do' list for about two weeks now and in the back of my mind for oooohhhh... always. it's always in the back of my mind. but somehow i've done everything on the list i can but this. and now. i can not NOT do it. it's like working out. i want to. i like the aftermath of it. but yet, i have a stupid internal battle constantly with it. maybe one day i will understand this stupid dynamic within myself.

so we will do an "update".... it seems i'm always doing stupid updates. *sigh*

so we came back from michigan feeling refreshed. having had a couple months under our belt of EXACTLY what we were facing in this mess called Hotlanta. So we came back from the holidays ready to tackle it with new fervor. This included having some pretty deep heart to heart talks with my mom. And most importantly facing some life long wounds of my heart. I think it was the proverbial elephant in the room. Since then, I feel like we are all on the same page with life and the goals for erin and why we are here. which is 1. to rekindle/rebuild a relationship with my family and 2. to help my mom with erin... which means changing almost 10 years of co-dependent behavior between her and my mom. This is not an easy task. not even close. But at least we are on the same page, working toward the same goal and have achieved an overall understanding of this.

so my job hunt continues. and it is not going well. Tommy has gotten a job with Krogers, which is "part time" but he seems to be getting about 30+ hours at this and there are talks and hopes with management that he will be full time soon. He is also keeping ears open for a 2nd part time job to help make ends meet. or make the ends a little more comfortable with them meeting. Since i have had little luck with the job. I've decided to go back to school and finish my stupid degree.

After a little research, we found out i can go to DeVry "free" because of my mom working there. "free" is subject to interpretation, though. there will still be class fees, book costs, and my mom will have to pay taxes on the cost of the class. but all this said, the cost is minimal in comparison. I have to take 30 hours to finish my degree. And when all is said and done i will have a degree in Business with a concentration in psychology. This should make me considerably more marketable when it comes to finding a job. Also, going to school opens me up to the resources of DeVry's carreer placement department which has a 98% succuss rate of finding jobs for their students. all of this is good. and so it is the plan.

The way DeVry works i will start classes in March and finish the term by June. The term is made of 2 sessions and typically a full load would be taking 2 classes each session. In order to take care of this as soon as possible and to do so while i'm still getting unemployement, I will be taking 5 classes each session. 10 classes in 16 weeks. A LOT. i've never been strictly a "full time student". I've also worked at the very least part time. So i'm hoping that dedicating myself to complete and utterly school for 16 weeks will be possible. hard. but possible. and then come june... i have my pesky degree. a degree which will get me a little farther than my 2.5 upper level credits short of a psychology degree currently is.

we are still living here with my mom. and probably will be until june. but it's not bad. we finally rearranged the room we were staying in (the office) to be more condusive to us staying here. before... the room was an office. all around office with our air mattress in the middle of the floor. we would have to pick it up every day in order for the room to be useable. now, we have the office part of the room on one side and a permanent bedroom side to the room. so no more picking up an air mattress daily. now we can just make the bed like normal folk. i can not tell you how nice it is to have a space of our own instead of the previous situation of feeling like intruders in an office space.

and tom. tom is wonderful. a companion and partner in every sense of the words. i don't think i could do this without his support and continual encouragement. and laughter. never underestimate the power of laughter in a relationship. i'm pretty sure i could do just about anything with tom so long as we laughed our way through it. sometimes i wonder how i could have spent three years of my life with someone which was void of everything good. how did i end up there at all? and most the time... i don't know. and then in a glimpse... i know that i just didn't know before. like a kid who lives their life blind not being able to see the chalkboard and then gets glasses and is amazed by the clarity of letters and colors and shapes. the kid just didn't know they were blind cuz they had never seen before. and that is usually the best i can come up with. and i'm okay with that. so it is good. it is very good.

new years resolutions has also brought tom and i to treadmilling daily. we've stuck to it pretty good for three weeks except for the last several days. a combination of schedules and health has kept us away from the gym, but today we get back on that horse. tom has done phenominal at weight loss... he's a regular biggest loser. i... not so much. but i tell myself (and actually try to believe it) that it's about being healthy and just doing it. and if healthy for me is heavier and bigger than what i would want. then it's okay. cuz i'm healthy. and that is really all that is important.

so that's the update.